Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Laredo Lemurs: I'm not joking

Too Late Laredo! We did it to y'all again!!.....Losers!

The new Laredo baseball team is called the Lemurs.   These animals are classified as primates and are native to Madagascar, thousands of miles away from our great Gateway City. With many strong names available that were vastly more suitable to our area of the country, the nitwits voted for Lemurs.

My theory is that these carpetbaggers who so easily pulled a fast and expensive one over our city council and mayor have a plan.  Their plan includes knowing that this venture will probably fail and fail fast. They hope to have some initial success by linking their sorry effort to the animated motion picture Madagascar 3 which is scheduled to be released in June of 2012.  By sheer coincidence, this is roughly around the time that the lame lemurs will be starting their inaugural season.

We all know what the theme song will be : "You got to move it, move it" or whatever the name is. The most impressionable Laredoans (next to the city staff, council and mayor) are, of course, the kids. They will certainly drag the parents along simply because they cannot go alone. Look for the mascot to bare a very uncanny similarity to the movie's Lemur King.

Arena Ventures came, saw and conquered our city coffers, the similarly-named Ventura group is naturally doing the same. I'm sure the word has spread far and wide. Laredo is full of dolts who are only too willing to waste their citizens' money on stupid ideas sold to them by out of town teabaggers carpetbaggers.

15 comments:

  1. Yes, the Arena Ventures people came to Laredo, raped the horses and rode off on the women.

    Classic.

    My favorite part was how the very nickname countered point #1 in choosing a new mascot, "First, the name had to have some relevance to Laredo history past or present."

    Lemurs in Laredo? When?

    Its good to know Laredo is a punchline across the country once more. One group in particular, baseball aficionado website Ballpark Digest is already poking fun of the Bordertown.

    Sigh

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey BTB, it's almost Thursday LLanta-don't forget. It's good to hear from you. Oh, I think I did hear Tim Gutierrez say something like "Lemurs are believed to have populated the Laredo area long long ago"- De Veras????

    I think they used to roam Laredo way back when common sense was still around.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why is Chuy Olivares, the Laredo Assistant City Manager in the middle of Ventura and Pete as if he is a co-owner of the team?

    Maybe because Chuy was the one that swindle the deal for Shuster while the Broncos were still here. Chuy promotes his MMA crap via Ventura Sports and has his hand up Shuster's ass for years now. All while illegally using taxpayers money and resources.

    Chuy Olivares is a corrupt politician that should be carefully watched in this deal because this is his deal to profit from and he shouldn't.

    BTW, great observation on the Madagascar Part 3.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just curious but, how do Lemurs have relevance to Laredo history past or present? That was one of the criteria for the mascot. As I recall, I do not remember seeing any lemur roaming around Laredo while I was growing up. I do remember seeing horned toads though. Also, they may get in trouble with the movie company if they use the song or make the mascot look like the King lemur. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe they did their research. Who knows...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Laredo politicos and their minions simply alter and distort, kind of like the Texas State legislature, but to a greater degree.

    So, the new archeological studies paid for by city dollars will now state that Lemurs did, in fact, roam the South Texas plains many, many, many years ago, before the Coahuiltecan Indians did prior to European exploration.

    As a result, Lemurs will have a newfound place in Laredo's history.

    As per the Madagascar rip-off, it's the border! Drive around and you'll see blatant copyright infringements on Disney, Warner Brothers, and Superhero characters right and left. Hell, even pirated Dallas Cowboys clothing is found in abundance downtown.

    My bet is on the Lemurs (i.e. Lepers) ripping off _Madagascar_ like there is no tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  6. For that matter, I've always heard that Laredo was once under water. Using this logic, the team could have been named after any of thousands of sea creatures.

    It does not surprise me at all that they conjured up this entire plan: finding lemur bones, fast tracking the Pony league (who will eventually be the main tenants-once the Lemurs go back to Madagascar).

    No wonder the city manager was alluding to rising revenue and in the same breath mentioned bridge revenues and the Pony league as being responsible for the bigger bucks coming in. This another part of the scheme, make the Pony League seem vastly more important than it is so that when they are the only tenants, people will not storm the bastille.

    Que Mugrero!

    ReplyDelete
  7. La raza does no storming. Too hot for em.

    Besides, what's the over-under in how many folks out of a hundred know what a bastille is.

    4? 5?

    Un que? Que es un basil?

    ReplyDelete
  8. What about at night? Like Charlie San Miguel's run? You know, the torches and pitchforks routine- de noche no esta tan caliente. Bueno, pos nomas la lumbre!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well, Charlie is an exceptional character, just ask all the chicks he *ahem* "flirted" with when he was an LISD teacher, a home inspector, and a bar proprietor. Of course that came before his wooden cross and Jesus fish, too.

    Anyhow, where were we?

    Oh, yes, the night storming of city politicos.

    While good in theory, there are too many generations of apathy in the Bordertown. I will hold my breath on that one, how's that?

    ReplyDelete
  10. What can I say- I can't blame you. We both know this city only too well. Nambre!

    ReplyDelete
  11. One more comment! One more comment!

    ReplyDelete
  12. its all about alliteration like L.L. Coll J.... L.L.
    how about
    Laredo Lecheros,Laborers,Lunch trucks, Lassos, Lasers, Lawn-mowers, Lefties, Legos, Lemmings(nah as bad as Lemurs)Lightning, Line-Dancers, Lizzards, Lab-rats.

    ok in all seriousness... Laredo Lassos is cool..

    BTW the Laredo Broncos were close to being called the Laredo Rattlers. That would have been cool.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Its to attract the youth lemurs is a popular character of kids this generation around no matter where you live

    ReplyDelete
  14. laredo Reds red is in the name of the city

    ReplyDelete