Sunday, January 15, 2012

In a related story, Pitchforks & Torches outlet is now open

Yes, at Pitchforks & Torches, we also carry rope for all ocassions

Thanks to a brand new "Pitchforks & Torches" outlet now open in Laredo's West Side, Laredoans of all walks of life will now have plenty to do during the high-brow WBCA festivities. Forget income-inequality: this is a time for all Gateway City residents to celebrate.

Although most of the commoners or barriofolk will be kept outside the gates of many an oppulent WBCA event, La Raza can now fully enjoy the goings on under the flickering warm flames of their authenic, hand-made torches while simultaneously jabbing their pitchforks up and down in the air. You could say it's a scene straight out of the French Revolution, or at least straight out of a 1930s Frankenstein Movie.

Pitchforkes and Torches always carries a complete line of peasants' garb at a low-brow price. For those who wish to partake of some adult beverages during the storming of the Martha's Ball, check out our vintage drinking vessels and gourds.


  1. I have mine ready but it might be a lonely angry mob of me and and a couple of others.

    You see, the WBC figured this out years ago. Like the Romans, they provide "bread and circuses" to qualm the masses. Beer Fests, Jalapenos, and a carnival all provide us peasants, uh, I mean the masses the appropriate distractions and the elite their time to shine.

  2. Yes, yes, I see their ploy (sharpening his trident pitchfork), Los canallas! Now where's my torch?? OK, let's see, jab, jab, jab!(repeatedly thrusting torch into the air). Now, where's my drikining vessel (hic)??